You know it's Monday when...

You walk into the laundry room to find a blinking error message on your eight-month-old washing machine.

Your daughter loses a contact lens up under her eyelid and asks you to help her remove it.

A friend calls and asks if you've heard about the threatening message scrawled on the wall of your kid's high school.

Your daughter still can't find the contact lens, even after trying your first suggestion.

You finally get all your email downloaded and realize that 75% of it is spam.

A second friend calls about the supposed threat at the high school.

Some of the spam you downloaded, particularly that about weight loss, actually starts to look appealing.

Every time you turn on the tv they are showing the last 15 seconds of yesterday's Rams game, and it ain't pretty.

Your son calls from school because he left his gym clothes at home.

Your gas tank is empty, you're out of milk, and pay day is four days away.

Your best race pal is on a her way back from Phoenix and has yet to call you about her experience at her first NASCAR race. Of course, she thinks she has redeemed herself because she called you during the race and held up her phone so you could hear the cars go by!